This past week has been perfectly horrible! Mike is in the ICU here in Orlando and it's not certain that he's going to pull through.
Last Thursday (or was it Friday) the doctors removed his entire colon (he's had ulcerated colitis for several years). Yesterday he required another surgery to try to control the raging infection he has developed. He isn't aware of his surroundings and hooked us to every imaginable machine and drainage thingy and IV. So far they are trying to stabalize his heart rate, blood pressure, renal system and the infection...and so far they are not having much luck. The doctors say that the next 24-48 hours will be the telling ones. Pray for him.
Mother was checked into the hospital in Tallahassee yesterday with phenumonia (sp?). I talked with her this morning and she says she's being "killed with kindness" and expects to go home in a couple of days. Pray for her.
I've only had one night's sleep since being here. Pray for me.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
The City Beautiful
Well, here I am in the "City Beautiful", Orlando, Florida.
I got a phone call Tues. night from my oldest daughter to tell me that Mike is in the hospital here in Orlando...ORMC. By the time I got down here he had been moved to MD Anderson Cancer Center. At this point, they don't think he has cancer (but they haven't been in), but they have told him in no uncertain terms that if his ulcerated colitis continues unchecked that is the next step. At this point, what he has is an acute attack of the ulcerated colitis. His colon is swollen to the point of rupture. When the doctors show the size of his colon with their two hands there fingers are about 2 inches apart. He is on steroids, antibiotics, vitamins, potassium, insulin and a saline solution all by IV. He's on morphine every 3 hours. It's very bad, very serious. He is being closely monitored and we have been told that emergency surgery is a high probility. Yesterday the doctor said 48 hours to see if there is any change...this morning another doctor said a couple of days.
Shirley, Goodness and Mercy are being boarded with the vet in Monticello...$8.50 per animal, per night...so, I can't stay terribly long without making other arrangements for them.
I'm staying in his room at this point...there is a Murphy bed.
I got a phone call Tues. night from my oldest daughter to tell me that Mike is in the hospital here in Orlando...ORMC. By the time I got down here he had been moved to MD Anderson Cancer Center. At this point, they don't think he has cancer (but they haven't been in), but they have told him in no uncertain terms that if his ulcerated colitis continues unchecked that is the next step. At this point, what he has is an acute attack of the ulcerated colitis. His colon is swollen to the point of rupture. When the doctors show the size of his colon with their two hands there fingers are about 2 inches apart. He is on steroids, antibiotics, vitamins, potassium, insulin and a saline solution all by IV. He's on morphine every 3 hours. It's very bad, very serious. He is being closely monitored and we have been told that emergency surgery is a high probility. Yesterday the doctor said 48 hours to see if there is any change...this morning another doctor said a couple of days.
Shirley, Goodness and Mercy are being boarded with the vet in Monticello...$8.50 per animal, per night...so, I can't stay terribly long without making other arrangements for them.
I'm staying in his room at this point...there is a Murphy bed.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
What the Bleep do we Know?
I have just finished watching the most amazing movie I've ever seen! It's "What the Bleep Do We Know". They also have a web site: www.whatthebleep.com
I highly recommend this movie and site!
Rainy, rainy day! Grey, chilly and a little bleak, but in its own way quite glorious!
I highly recommend this movie and site!
Rainy, rainy day! Grey, chilly and a little bleak, but in its own way quite glorious!
Monday, March 14, 2005
Bad caller
For the past several months I've been getting 'phone calls from a young sounding Hispanic male. On one of the earliest calls I did ask who he was and he said Ricardo Fadell (the only reason I spell the last name that way is that is the only close spelling I can find in the local 'phone book). He called several times a day for a while, usually while I was at work and he'd leave word on my answering machine. I told him early on not to call, but it continued, so I called the non-emergency number of the sheriff's office. I had already tried hitting *69 only to have the recording say that the number was unavailable. So I told the girl at the sheriff's office this and was told that there was probably nothing that could be done, but to call back if he called again. Well, he did and I didn't. There were many calls left on the answering machine from what sounded like collection agencies for a Vanessa Fadell and many calls from him. Then one night at almost nine o'clock I got a call from a man asking for Vanessa or Ricardo. I said it was a wrong number and hung up. He called right back and said he was with Progress Energy and did I know anything about a service order with Progress Energy for a location on Waukeena Street in town. Of course I didn't. The calls continued for a while after, I'd hang up without saying anything whenever I was here and happened to answer...I usually listen to the recorder before I answer. Well, the calls stopped for several weeks and I sure felt better, then yesterday morning a little before noon the phone rang and I listened to the machine before answering (habits are hard to break) and it was a whispering male voice that said "I'm back". Scared me so bad that I couldn't catch my breath. I couldn't identify the voice. Last night around 8 He called. and again this morning at 7:45. I guess I should either go to the sheriff or call...I just hate to.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Mother
Yesterday I went to Tallahassee to try on a formal dess from Mother's closet. On the 14th of April there is going to be a rather grand gala honoring Bert and his long time partner for their years of medical practice. Mother is truely agog about this! The dress I tried on fit me, but I look like a sack of potatoes in it. Mother said that all I need to do is lose 10 pounds between now and the 14th and I'll look just fine.
We sat and talked for an hour or so after the "trying on"...really, I sat and listened, Mother talked. She had more pent up gossip in her than I could ever imagine! She might have burst had she not gotten it all out! I didn't even know most of the folks she was talking about, but it seemed to give her some relief to vent. I guess it helps all of us to have an ear to bend every now and then. (Thank you RM and Prent!!!!) After about an hour of this she got to the part she was really wanting to talk about (looking back on it). It seems she hasn't been feeling well lately and Bert actually took her to the emergency room last Thursday night. She has two damaged heart valves. She sees her main doctor on Monday afternoon and may know something then. I asked her was there anything she was supposed to do or not do...her answer, "no". I then asked what were they going to do about this and she said as far as she knows, nothing. I'll talk with her Monday after she sees her doctor and see if there are any other answers. She does have sleep apneia and is supposed to wear a breathing mask when she sleeps, but, it messes her hair up and leaves a mark on her face and she has to sleep on her back, etc., so she's not religious about wearing it. She said her doctor yelled at her the last time she was there about having to wear it every night. I did put in my two cents worth, too, but, I don't think it helped.
More on this when I know something.
Beautiful day today, but the rain comes in tomorrow for the week.
We sat and talked for an hour or so after the "trying on"...really, I sat and listened, Mother talked. She had more pent up gossip in her than I could ever imagine! She might have burst had she not gotten it all out! I didn't even know most of the folks she was talking about, but it seemed to give her some relief to vent. I guess it helps all of us to have an ear to bend every now and then. (Thank you RM and Prent!!!!) After about an hour of this she got to the part she was really wanting to talk about (looking back on it). It seems she hasn't been feeling well lately and Bert actually took her to the emergency room last Thursday night. She has two damaged heart valves. She sees her main doctor on Monday afternoon and may know something then. I asked her was there anything she was supposed to do or not do...her answer, "no". I then asked what were they going to do about this and she said as far as she knows, nothing. I'll talk with her Monday after she sees her doctor and see if there are any other answers. She does have sleep apneia and is supposed to wear a breathing mask when she sleeps, but, it messes her hair up and leaves a mark on her face and she has to sleep on her back, etc., so she's not religious about wearing it. She said her doctor yelled at her the last time she was there about having to wear it every night. I did put in my two cents worth, too, but, I don't think it helped.
More on this when I know something.
Beautiful day today, but the rain comes in tomorrow for the week.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Worries and woes
I talked with Helen last night. She's concerned because she hasn't seen Mike in 2-3 weeks. He was stopping by to see her several times a week (without fail) and hasn't even called. She has asked around town and no one knows anything about him. Of course, I haven't heard from him in months.
Last night Goodness went nuts! He's such a big cat and when he choses to be crazy it's hard to ignore. From about midnight on he tore around the house, thundering on the hardwood floors...he tore up window blinds and broke several things. I'm not sure just what his problem was, but I'm thankful that he seem exhusted now and is sleeping soundly! And I've always called Mercy my "bad cat"!
Cold again this morning...our high was only 52 yesterday...they say it'll be in the 60's today.
Last night Goodness went nuts! He's such a big cat and when he choses to be crazy it's hard to ignore. From about midnight on he tore around the house, thundering on the hardwood floors...he tore up window blinds and broke several things. I'm not sure just what his problem was, but I'm thankful that he seem exhusted now and is sleeping soundly! And I've always called Mercy my "bad cat"!
Cold again this morning...our high was only 52 yesterday...they say it'll be in the 60's today.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Icky day
Today is cold and overcast. This has been really weird weather...sunny, warm and beautiful one day and really icky the next. I guess it's normal, I just don't remember it this way.
In the past three days I've unpacked 8 large boxes...the trick will be finding spots to put everything.
I think Shirley's bored. She wants in then out, then in, then out, I wish the yard had a fence so I could let her out to run. The chain I have her on is mighty heavy for such a little dog.
I was sitting by the front window at dusk last night and had no lights on inside, so I could see quite clearly out into the yard. A movement caught my eye by the bird bath...two very small rabbits were just poking about. I watched them for several minutes until something spooked them and they dashed off into the underbrush. It's so funny to see things like that here right by the highway.
Last week was the first week in a long time that I didn't hear from Prentice. I miss our talks. I hope everythings okay with him. I haven't heard from Mike in a long, long time. I worry so much about him.
In the past three days I've unpacked 8 large boxes...the trick will be finding spots to put everything.
I think Shirley's bored. She wants in then out, then in, then out, I wish the yard had a fence so I could let her out to run. The chain I have her on is mighty heavy for such a little dog.
I was sitting by the front window at dusk last night and had no lights on inside, so I could see quite clearly out into the yard. A movement caught my eye by the bird bath...two very small rabbits were just poking about. I watched them for several minutes until something spooked them and they dashed off into the underbrush. It's so funny to see things like that here right by the highway.
Last week was the first week in a long time that I didn't hear from Prentice. I miss our talks. I hope everythings okay with him. I haven't heard from Mike in a long, long time. I worry so much about him.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Just stuff
There was a terrible storm last night. Shirley and I were on the sofa watching t.v. when a boom sounded over the house. It was so loud that I thought a train had derailed or an explosion had happened. The windows rattled and the pictures on the walls shifted. Cats ran everywhere and I was scared. Then it happened again and again and again...then, I could see flashes of light through the blinds. When the rain started it was a blessed relief...at least I knew what was going on! I ran around and unplugged everything and went to bed with a dog and 2 cats on top of me. I'm not sure how long this storm raged, but we got over 2 inches of rain. This morning it is clear, beautiful and cool. The forecast is for freezing or below tonight. Wow!
I was thinking about age this morning. I'll be 60 this year, Mother will be 80 and my oldest daughter will be 40. I remember standing in line in the lunch room when I was 11 or 12. One of the girls we all admired had just turned 15. We whispered and giggled and thought she was over the hill! Can you imagine? Over the hill! If we had only known the hill was so much longer and higher and harder! I've heard many people say that they feel no differently inside than they did at 11 or 12 (or older or younger) and I agree, I feel no different, I'm still me with all of the insecurities and fears of youth. I don't feel I've gained anything with age other than lines, aches and all of the other baggage that comes with additional years. I'm still insecure and afraid.
I was thinking about age this morning. I'll be 60 this year, Mother will be 80 and my oldest daughter will be 40. I remember standing in line in the lunch room when I was 11 or 12. One of the girls we all admired had just turned 15. We whispered and giggled and thought she was over the hill! Can you imagine? Over the hill! If we had only known the hill was so much longer and higher and harder! I've heard many people say that they feel no differently inside than they did at 11 or 12 (or older or younger) and I agree, I feel no different, I'm still me with all of the insecurities and fears of youth. I don't feel I've gained anything with age other than lines, aches and all of the other baggage that comes with additional years. I'm still insecure and afraid.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Books
I just finished reading the fourth in a series of books by Jan Karon. These are based in a little North Carolina town called Mitford, which is loosely based on the town of Blowing Rock, NC. At Home in Mitford, A Light in the Window, These High, Green Hills and Out to Canaan are the titles. I sencerely hope there will be more of these as I really hated to finish the last one. It's been a while since I've felt so at home in a book, so warm, so comforted! I highly recommend these!
I still have no idea of what I'll do with myself, but the feeling of panic has grown quieter and I'm sure there's something for me to do to support myself. Of course, the age of 60 might make it a little harder, but I'll find something...look at Grandma Moses!
I still have no idea of what I'll do with myself, but the feeling of panic has grown quieter and I'm sure there's something for me to do to support myself. Of course, the age of 60 might make it a little harder, but I'll find something...look at Grandma Moses!
Sunday, March 06, 2005
The straw
Well, I guess I've finally lost it for sure!
Friday at work I packed up all of my stuff and put it in my car and left without saying a word to anyone. I guess I quit...no, I know I quit. The bitch that has hated me from day one won. Talk about burning bridges...there goes another one. Don't know what I'll do. I have nothing and frankly don't know what to do, or what to look for. In one sense I feel an enormous relief, in another I feel abject fear. There was no one to talk to about it. I just did what I had to do at the time. I haven't told anyone, who would I tell? I almost feel there is a law suit in this somewhere...I was promised one thing and given nothing. In fact almost everything I was doing had gone to other people and I sat for eight hours a day waiting for the phone to ring. On Thursday I started keeping track of the calls coming in, at times it was over half an hour between calls...55 minutes one time. Talk about going nuts! That did it. Between 8 and 10:30 on Friday there were 6 incoming calls.
I haven't finished unpacking from the move from Orlando...and can't get motivated to do anything. Went out and raked leaves for a while this morning. Got blisters.
Friday at work I packed up all of my stuff and put it in my car and left without saying a word to anyone. I guess I quit...no, I know I quit. The bitch that has hated me from day one won. Talk about burning bridges...there goes another one. Don't know what I'll do. I have nothing and frankly don't know what to do, or what to look for. In one sense I feel an enormous relief, in another I feel abject fear. There was no one to talk to about it. I just did what I had to do at the time. I haven't told anyone, who would I tell? I almost feel there is a law suit in this somewhere...I was promised one thing and given nothing. In fact almost everything I was doing had gone to other people and I sat for eight hours a day waiting for the phone to ring. On Thursday I started keeping track of the calls coming in, at times it was over half an hour between calls...55 minutes one time. Talk about going nuts! That did it. Between 8 and 10:30 on Friday there were 6 incoming calls.
I haven't finished unpacking from the move from Orlando...and can't get motivated to do anything. Went out and raked leaves for a while this morning. Got blisters.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Martha Stewart is OUT!
Bless her heart, I'm sure these past five months have felt much longer for Martha than for me, but I have thought about her almost every day and celebrate the fact that she is finally out of prison! I hope these next five months of house arrest will go quickly for her.
The weather is weird! We have had below freezing temps for the past 3 mornings and rain all day yesterday to boot! I even had to scrape ice from all of the car windows day before yesterday!
Leg is better...still hurts if touched and still oozy.
No word from Prent.
TGIF!!!!!!!
The weather is weird! We have had below freezing temps for the past 3 mornings and rain all day yesterday to boot! I even had to scrape ice from all of the car windows day before yesterday!
Leg is better...still hurts if touched and still oozy.
No word from Prent.
TGIF!!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Surprise Weather
Boy! I suppose I should listen to the news/weather more often! Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to 32 degree weather! Yesterday it was shirt sleeves and this morning it's heavy coat! I even bought flower seeds yesterday because I thought Spring had sprung...guess I'll wait a few days or so to put them out.
Fellow at work brought me a movie that I watched yesterday. "An Angel for May"...really good!
Oh how I wish for cable TV or satellite. With rabbit ears I get 4 channels, three quite well and, of course, the one I watch the most is at times unviewable. Oh well, surely my ship will come in some day.
Shirley is in heat. I hate that. I must have her spayed.
Fellow at work brought me a movie that I watched yesterday. "An Angel for May"...really good!
Oh how I wish for cable TV or satellite. With rabbit ears I get 4 channels, three quite well and, of course, the one I watch the most is at times unviewable. Oh well, surely my ship will come in some day.
Shirley is in heat. I hate that. I must have her spayed.
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